zenMom

The Birds & B-listers

Before you have kids, you often have a general idea of what you want your parenting philosophy to be.  After lots of careful thought, most of which is not based on any actual kid experience, you have definite ideas of how you want to raise your kids regarding everything from nutrition to television.  Having "The Talk" about the birds and the bees with my kids was something that I figured I wouldn't have to think about doing for a few years yet, being that Jilli is 6 and Aidan is 3.  Now I'm not so sure.

Jillian, like most little girls, loves all things Disney and, as a result, I became familiar with High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and the Cheetah Girls.  I'm fluent in Disney in a way you can only really understand if you have a little girl.  Perhaps that's why I'm a little tweaked about the latest Disney scandal involving Cheetah Girls Adrienne Bailon and bottomless pictures meant for her fiancee which were stolen from her laptop last week.  If you don't have kids, or if you are blissfully unaware of celebrity 'news', you might not know that this is far from the first time Disney has found its squeaky-clean stars in the middle of a scandal.

Jillian was only 2 when the Vanessa Hudgens' scandal blew up and the nude/semi-nude pictures of a very underage High School Musical star hit the fan.  The pics were apparently taken as a gift for her boyfriend Zac Efron.  Obviously, in light of the $80 million dollar haul HSM3 saw opening weekend, the scandal hasn't had a lasting tarnish on the franchise or Hudgens. I personally am glad that Jillian isn't into HSM (its got too many 'kissy' scenes) right now and that she's too young to be able to google her Disney Idols like I can.

Then Miley Cyrus (daughter to Billy Ray "Achy-Breaky Heart" Cyrus and my daughter's absolute idol) revealed her "friendship" with the Daddy approved 20-year old Justin Gaston.  I don't know about you, but personally the idea of my 15-year old daughter getting cozy with a twenty-year old is something that freaks me out.  I don't care how Christian the guy may be or what her crazy daddy thinks - its still a felony. 

budget beauty

A few weeks ago, when H and i were watching yet another report about the depressed economy and layoffs, i pointed out that H's company (a prominent retail cosmetics company) should be pretty okay.  I told him about the "lipstick rule" - something I'd first learned about at a Mary Kay/Avon-esque cosmetics party.  The idea was simple: women will find ways to buy their favorite beauty products.  in some cases it could be something as small as a lipstick that they budget in to buy.  Yet that lipstick is more than a lipstick, its a way to feel beautiful and bring a little luxury into a budgeted lifestyle.  At the same cosmetics party (held after the dot-bomb dropped) one woman talked about her mother saving pin money for a her favorite face cream during the Depression.  I reasoned to H that his company might see a decline in sales but, if the Lipstick Rule held, it would probably not be so so bad.

Today H sent me an article today about the "Leading Lipstick Indicator", a term coined by Estée Lauder chairman Leonard Lauder (aka The Lipstick Index) after he saw a very specific trend occurring during financially turbulent years.  During times like these  most of us wouldn't consider buying couture because it costs too damn much; an $8 lipstick at Walgreen's hurts the wallet a whole lot less in comparison.

"History can be our guide here. As a Harvard professor explains: "The decade of the Great Depression, cosmetic sales increased 25 percent." After the downturn following Sept. 11, lipstick sales doubled."

What's the lipstick indicator say right now?  As you might have guessed, lipstick sales have shot up 40% in the past few months in shades with price tags that run the gamut from budget to boutique.  another facet of the Lipstick Indicator? Vibrant look-at-me red, apparently a shade that sees popularity during economic upswings, has given way to neutrals like pink, brown, and taupe.

So while many women and their families are cutting back, the lipstick represents inexpensive luxury - an innocent indulgence.

How do you treat yourself when the budget is tight?  i like skin care products more so than lipstick but they are not going to be nearly as affordable.  I have a friend who I hope can school me on how to make my own beauty products using ingredients like honey, avocado, egg, or epsom salt so can can have all the beauty of a day at the spa for pennies. 

perhaps they should have rethought this...

intermixed with all of the 'serious' literature on my bookshelf you will find more than a few chick-lit selections. one of them, Confessions of a Shopaholic, is going to be hitting theaters soon in what seems to be exquisitely bad timing.  the heroine makes Carrie Bradshaw look positively frugal and Imeda Marcos' shoe collection look small. the series is total literary comfort food and from what i've seen of the trailer the movie seems to be much of the same in movie form...but will you watch it?

The movie isn't due to be released until next February but, considering the state of the economy, i'm not sure i want to watch anyone (even someone as adorable as Isla Fisher) rack up debt on Fifth Avenue. hrm.  sounds like a movie that was pitched in better economic times.

It could make for some great escapist cinema - call it Prada by Proxy - but i think its a bit of a gamble.  Confessions might end up coming off as more cautionary tale than romantic comedy....

• Is "Confessions of a Shopaholic" inappropriate given the economic climate? - Entertainment on Shine.

mi raza...

via Blogamama: Tuesday's Toot Your Own Horn

i spent hours this weekend sorting family photos - a project that has been pending since january.  One set of pictures came from my grandfather, who passed away last december, entrusted to me by my aunt and very precious because there are many very old pictures that are irreplaceable.  Then there is the shoebox full of photos I have, collected over my lifetime, only a fraction of which exist in digital form.  Then there's the whole aspect of sorting the digital photos and backing them all up. 

i know that this project will get harder to complete as the holidays get closer, so my goal is to get my aunt's pictures scanned and prettied up for Christmas. 

the first thing i did was to sort each set of physical photos as best I could; some pictures included the date the picture was taken, other's i had to approximate based on the dress (70's disco wear? 80's members only jackets? 90's hypercolor shirts?) but i sorted through them all and managed to scan 80 of them before i had to take a break.  each picture has to be tweaked and resized so I can fit as many as possible on a cd.  after the pictures are scanned i'm putting them into a nice album which will (hopefully by christmas) find its way back to my aunt. 

while working on this, a commercial for ancestry.com came on and now the picture project has morphed with my long held desire to research the family tree.  As i scan old family photos i upload them to my family tree to give a visual reference to each family member's profile. 

now i've got a great dent in a project that has my family excited.  hopefully by this time next week ill have the rest of the pictures done.  there are only another couple hundred to go....

kathy griffin is effin funny.

H & I were watching Kathy Griffin: You can suck it on comedy central the other day and the woman, as usual, had me laughing so hard i was crying at times.  This bit was great:

"i read about paris hilton getting into a fist fight with shana moakler on a stairwell in a club. that's not my thing, alright? that's not fun for me. i'm not going to confront anybody! i was raised right.  i talk about people behind their backs. yeah...its called 'manners'."

If I didn't know Kathy was born in Illinois, I would have pegged her for a southern girl....that's like the southern girl's mantra...

¡Ya Voté!

Blame it on daylight savings, but i have been getting up much earlier than normal which is why i was up and searching for my voter registration card at 6:30am.  This election is my first as a California voter and the first election in a very long time that i've been excited about.  Having heard about some of the problems people have had voting, I wanted to arrive prepared.  i still have my texas id which does not have my current san francisco address and after hearing about the persnickety florida polling stations i was concerned that i was going to arrive at the polling place and be turned away. 

I  also feared the long lines that have been the subject of many a news story.  stories of lines that took anywhere from 3 to 7 hours.  npr reporters polling long suffering voters in line about what they brought with them to pass the time.  one woman planned to bring her own lawn chair.  hearing that i had prepared my own election first-aid kit:

• nintendo ds and brain age
• wallet with texas id
• passport (just in case)
• guardian voting guide
• ipod
• phone
• journal and pen

i made a mental note to take a small stool to sit on and considered bringing my laptop so i could blog while i waited on line. turns out i didn't need much at all.

while i was getting ready H called from starbucks after parking the car to report the lines were non-existent and all i needed to bring was a photo id that verified my identity - that the address didnt match was not something to worry about.

We live in the Inner Sunset district of San Francisco and that, combined with the amazing bay area turn out, made for the most unbelievably easy voting experiences I have ever had.  In 2004 I waited about an hour and a half to vote (and that was with a little 2 year old in tow); this time around, I didnt have to wait at all.  there were just two people ahead of me and there wasnt an issue at all with my ID. 

this was the first time i've voted with paper ballots and i was a little curious at the sheaf of papers they handed me.  paper ballots up until now have been synonymous with the nightmarish 2004 'hanging chad' bealeagured election.  there were four ballots total for the various elections and propositions which, thankfully, were chad-free.  instead, you had to connect an arrow with a black marker.  i felt a little weird about coloring my ballot.

after feeding the ballots into this machine that resembled a really big bill changer, i felt really really good. I'm hopeful that tomorrow will see Obama as president and I'll be glued to cnn & headline news for the rest of the day.

 

inexcusable tragedy

an 8-year old boy, at a gun show with his father on sunday, died of a accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound.  the boy lost control of the weapon, an uzi sub machine gun, while firing it.

As the boy fired the Uzi, "the front end of the weapon went up with the backfire and he ended up receiving a round in his head," police Lt. Hipolito Nunez said. The boy died at a hospital.
...
It is legal in Massachusetts for children to fire a weapon if they have permission from a parent or legal guardian and are supervised by a properly certified and licensed instructor, Lt. Hipolito Nunez said.

The [Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo] ran in conjunction with C.O.P Firearms and Training. "It's all legal & fun — No permits or licenses required!!!!" reads the ad, posted on the club's Web site

"Boy, 8, killed in Mass. gun show accident" - Yahoo! News

i dont even know where to begin.  i mean, should a little boy be holding an uzi? according to officials, there was an instructor present, but there has been no statement about their (lack of) involvement.  i might not be the gun show type, but if i was i can't begin to understand how the show can allow that type of weapon to be shown or sold in public, let alone handed to a child like a harmless plaything.  

update:  via headline news - apparently the accident happened when the boy's dad was looking for a camera to snap a picture.  an instructor was guiding the boy at the time, so i'm still not clear how the accident even happened if that were true.  the father said that he felt comfortable letting his son handle the weapon because he had experience firing guns and this particular model of sub machine gun didn't have as much of a recoil.

for san francisco mommies

alright san francisco mommies, i have found the answer to the question "how can i squeeze a little pampering into my busy mommy week?"  even when you have a supportive partner it can be challenging to do.  well, golden gate mothers group is going to be organizing events at Mani and Nanny, a nail salon that also offers nannycare!  the cost for one child is $10 and the second is $5 which is totally worth the mani/pedi time.  of course they also offer "mini-pedis" and "mini-manis" for the princess in your life (3 to 12yrs).  i really cannot wait to avail myself to the salon's services!

Mommy Track'd | The Working Mother's Guide to Managed Chaos

I had to share this link i found as i was rediscovering how great of a site Mommy Track'd is.  if you are a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, a working-from-home mom, you will find articles, tips and resources to enjoy when you get some time to yourself.

via Mommy Track'd's "treat yourself" blogumn:

Will Smith once said that the key to his great family life is ensuring that "whatever Jada wants, Jada gets." He knows that if mom isn't happy, the whole family suffers. With your many work and family demands, it is easy to let your needs get lost in the shuffle. Don't let that happen. You deserve to indulge in your guiltiest pleasure from time to time. If you have neglected yourself for so long that you don't remember what your guilty pleasures are, you have come to the right place. Check out our tips on how to treat yourself for a change

junk food gets suspended from massachusetts schools...

the topic of junk food in schools seems to appear on the radar once in a while, usually in response to some study or other, only to fade into semi-obscurity again with the new news cycle.  now a change in school policy has brought the subject up again. 

a school district in massachusetts, apparently frustrated by parents sending kids off with candy and other less than healthy options for snack-time, has decided to ban any and all junk food from school grounds. i'm not sure how violators are to be punished, but somehow anything at all seems a bit much.  zero tolerance for junk food?  detention for bringing birthday cupcakes?

i don’t mean to make light of the matter. take a look at any school, any grade level, and you know that the alarm being raised about rising levels of childhood obesity are true. a large part of that responsibility lies with the, of course, with the parents.  for their part many schools took things into their own hands by, for instance, restocking vending machines with healthier options and making changes to cafeteria menus. (jillian's elementary among them)

the massachusetts district released the final draft of the new wellness policy and the guidlines include bans against food for parties of any kind, fund-raising events, and also from the snacks parents provide themselves.

jon and kate plus child labor violations

i have to admit something.  i’m probably one of a handful of people left in america who has not watched the show “jon and kate plus 8”.  that doesn’t mean i haven’t seen or heard a great deal about this family.   there are people who are apparently rabid fans of this show in a fanatical way that makes me wonder what the draw is watching a mom wrangle that many children.  it seems, in a way, like other family train-wrecks being broadcasted on the air today (nanny 911, bridezilla, wife swap, supernanny) - it is fascinating in its own sheer craziness.

having never seen the show outside of clips on cnn, commercials, etc, i dont know a lot about the show.  from what i gather of the parents, they seem level headed (or as level-headed as one can be when you have eight kids), loving, and kind....if a bit worn out. 

on headline news yesterday, an item ran about the protest being raised by  a minor consideration (a non-profit, tax-deductible foundation that advocates for child stars) and child star turned lawyer paul petersen against the show for its commercialization of the children’s day to day lives. (the video here is not great quality but you do get to see the story)

what would you do with an extra $100?

earlier this month at the obama fundraiser i bought seven raffle tickets for my $5 donation. though i tend to have this childish hope that i will have the winning ticket, i know that chances are i probably won’t win. this time i did, and a couple of weeks ago i received my $100 williams-sonoma gift card.

now that it has been just over three weeks since i won, i find the card still in my wallet unspent.

now if you know me at all, you would have expected i would have spent the card before you can say ‘cuisinart waffle-maker’. i love wiliams-sonoma and would have no trouble finding more than a few things i’d like if say, tasked to do a supermarket sweep style run of the store.

so why do i still have it? well partly that’s because williams-sonoma decided to stop carrying the particular waffle maker i have coveted since i worked for them in 2004. the insensitive bastards. trying to find something else from my mental list of “kitchen stuff to get” (a wok, a bread maker, or a rice cooker) were all much pricier than i remembered. a bread maker means fresh bread but also means paying $100 out of pocket after the card. a rice cooker is somewhat more reasonable - i’d only have to pay about $50.

what is the point, you might ask? why dont i just march to w-s and spend it? well, sometime while i was setting up my finances and working on a new budget (more on that later), i wondered if there might not be a better use for the card. what if, instead of spending on something for me (rice cooker!) i used it for holiday presents? while w-s may not have too many regular items you can buy at a reasonable price, they do have holiday food gifts (peppermint bark, panettone) that you can buy at decent prices. the gift card could parlay into at least 4-5 presents depending on how we use it.

that being said, having something like a rice cooker could become another way to save money by making it easier and quicker to eat healthfully.

what do you think? what would you do? use the card to defray holiday gift expenses? buy something practical for your kitchen? or buy fun gourmet items since you might not afford to get that $30 bottle of imported dipping oil other wise?

wordless wednesday :: a mother grieves...

Elsheba Khan at the grave of her son, Specialist Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan

 via The New Yorker

frugalMom: more people are trolling for the good deal

the last time i ran out of one of my skin care items i didnt go to the retail route - no, i searched online for a while and carefully scruitinized some lower cost online sellers before buying my replacement at 20% less with free delivery.  this goes for most any purchase i’m going to make that i can make online.  if i’m shopping online i can compare prices from hundreds of retailers in less time than it would take me to do the same kind of comparison shopping in real life. if i need to get something now, i'm more likely to take more time to buy it and hunt down the best price.  i just bought my halloween costume that way.

no doubt convenience factors into the mix and makes online shopping a fabulous alternative to the crush of people and traffic.  why should i go to the mall when i can shop in my pajamas sans makeup?  i save time and gas and i don’t have to leave!

MotherTalkers highlighted some results from a recent study that hint to an increase in online shopping.  part of that to be sure comes from the tough economic climate today, we all want to make the most of what we have to spend, even if we are spending less than last year. 

i’m sure gas prices factor in for some people.  it does for us, that’s for sure.  if we can buy it without moving the car, then so much the better.  i was thrilled when safeway added online delivery (though it needs some kinks worked out).  now if only costco could deliver food from their stores...

i am sure that as try to find ways to save, i’m going to shop for more and more online and bargain hunt for everything i can.  not only because of the way it can help our family cut  costs, but because it helps us cut down on our stress too.  if you have every shopped with a young child you understand.  shopping online beats fighting crowds anywhere with a six and three year old along for the ride...

how much would you control your kids driving if you could?

watching the news a few weeks ago, there was a small blurb about some unique features that are going to be available on select ford vehicles in 2010. specifically ford is introducing the MyKey system and aiming for the wallets of concerned parents. the MyKey system will allow parents to set limits on their kid’s driving habits (setting a control on the radio volume, etc) and their speed (topped out at 80 mph).

in the somewhat recent past i spent 3 years as an auto insurance claims adjuster so i’m somewhat annoyingly well versed on rules of the road and equally annoyingly familiar with the many, many, many things that happen to people behind the wheel. i’ve taken statements from teenage drivers who didn’t see a problem with driving over the speed limit, in the rain, to make a light. while teenagers are not all reckless, they don’t always make the  best decisions....especially as a young driver alone in a car. the MyKey system starts with a chip in the vehicle key itself which identifies the driver as a teen. this chip allows for several alerts to be activated: annoyingly persistent “you aren’t wearing your seatbelt” chimes, limits on the volume (to save mom & dad’s ears when they turn on the car the next day), low fuel warnings, warnings when certain speed thresholds are met (45, 55, 60, etc), and the 80 mph speed governor.