someone get me some claritin stat...

gah...i cannot breathe...or, at least, not well.  about two days after aidan and i got back from the wedding i came down with a cold/or sinus infection. there have been days where i thought i was on the up an up, days when i was able to go running for 1.4 miles (twice!) and felt great.  alas, the stuffiness, sneezing, pressure, and runny nose are here for an extended stay.  its not fun.  blech.

jillian is coming out for the summer soon, though when is up for debate.  despite the fact that we have been talking about the trip for a while my ex has suddenly said he isnt sure when he can bring her out.  we agreed on the 5th or 6th originally, and he told me last week that they'd leave on the 5th.  then suddenly yesterday he tells me that he cant leave because of a deadline for his project, June 9th.  he's been on the project for 2 months. the deadline isnt new, he's known about it.  hopefully, she will be out sooner than later.

i need to sit down and plan out some spots to hit in the city, like the pier, the zoo, the beach, the lake...hopefully i can get the two of them to some of the playgroups with the golden gate mother's group.  since jillian hasnt been attending ballet (which she loves) while in san antonio, i'm going to try to find an affordable ballet camp for her. 

aidan and i went shopping, walking down to Andronico's Market which, round-trip, is about 1.5 miles and very hilly.  its a good brisk walk for me especially when you consider that i'm pushing 50lbs (kid+stroller) add groceries and by the time i get home i've worked up a nice sweat and my legs are whimpering.  today was a really very foggy windy day, with the mist flowing over twin peaks and swirling over the tree tops.

i'm not doing the cleanse after all - i decided this weekend to basically make the real changes i need to make to my eating habits and continue to make time to work out.  with the travel for the wedding and being sick i admit its ben much easier to grab food that's quick and easy to make, even if it isnt what you might eat normally. 

basically, i'm

• cutting out processed foods from my day
• becoming more committed to reading the labels
• cutting out dairy
• cutting out red meat. period.  no sneaky steaks.
• eating only whole grains
• more fresh fruit in my diet
• cutting out caffine (OMG)
• drinking 3 L of water a day

right now i'm holding firm and keeping the 10lbs i've lost so far off.  i still have 28 lbs to go at least to get to my goal weight.  most of what i've started to  do is try to really keep to a firm calorie per day limit.  its different for veryone but i'm of the camp that most people dont need to eat as much as most of us do. i've started easing into cutting down, a little at a time over the past two weeks.  tomorrow we go hard core. ;)

the irritating thing is honestly how expensive it is to eat heathily. if you want to pick up fresh fruits and vegetables you will be sure to pay a pretty penny, never mind what you'd pay to eat organic. ditto for healty snacks like raw nuts and the like.  good cereals that dont include sugar or high fructose corn syrup are usually outpricing the nutritionally questionable and colorful cereals down the aisle.

i'm going to try to carefully plan out our meals so we can maximize our money (foods that are good as leftovers the next day). 

and even though my head feels like its going to explode with sinus pressure (meds are not working) i am going to go run tomorrow.  i am going to blog about it over on Fit Mom.  the blog isnt quite set up but will be tomorrow at the latest.

ugh. i need to lie down.

update: john called today and he is bringing jillian, via plane rather than car, on thursday.  *yay!*